The “emasculation” of men…
October 2, 2010 § 1 Comment
I came across this article recently, which asks, “Have you turned your man into a hermaphrodite?”
“Psychiatrist and medical director of Cygnet Health Care, Adrian Lord, says that political correctness means today’s chaps are mired in confusion… You get branded an ignorant pig if you don’t give a woman a seat and a sexist pig if you do… You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Everything that men stand for has been denigrated and run down over the last few decades, and we’ve got to become a bunch of lily-livered, pansy-picking wimps in order to survive… Many men seek sexual gratification online because the women they come across fulfil their fantasies and it’s safer than dealing with the hard-bitten females they come across in real life. That’s taking a real toll on relationships; the emasculation of men is a huge issue and it’s only going to get bigger.” (excerpt from article)
What’s the opposite of a “lily-livered pansy-picking wimp”? Rambo?! Instead of blaming women who can protect and provide for themelves, for the “emasculation of men”, why not blame the media for incessantly promoting a two-dimensional macho/hero role that men feel they need to emulate in order to be real men?
The professional response to this issue; “…men grow in confidence – and manliness – when they receive the three As: Appreciation, Acknowledgement and Adoration. Women, on the other hand, crave the three Cs: to be Cherished, Complimented and Communicated with. To get our relationships back on track, we women must try to rein in our control-freakery and rediscover our femininity, which will (theoretically) reawaken our partner’s dormant masculinity. We must praise our partners, thank them for taking us out to dinner (even if we split the bill) and generally massage their tattered egos.” Well, if “control-freakery” is not feminine, are they suggesting its a masculine trait? And exactly how is “manliness” defined? (So far I’ve got ‘control-freak Rambo’). Is being appreciated by the one you love not being cherished? Is a compliment not acknowledgment? Is adoration not communication? And if a display of subordination is the remedy for a tattered masculine ego, who displays subordinance to the women who are forced to supress the masculine part of their own ego in order to make the men feel better?
The article ends with two quizzes; to find out how masculine or feminine you are. You score ‘masculine points’ for being “determined to get your own way” and for being the most “likely to feel jealous” – is this what we believe and teach, as a society, is masculine behaviour? This sexist, binary-gender system is constantly impressed upon us as the ‘natural’ way of things – and it’s restrictive for everyone.